Throughout our lives, we often hear the importance of showing kindness to others. We are taught to be polite, friendly, and accepting. However, one aspect that is frequently overlooked is the necessity of being kind to ourselves. The relationship we have with ourselves is vital and deserves as much attention as our interactions with others.
So, how can we foster a kinder relationship with ourselves? Many of us hold a belief that being overly kind to ourselves is somehow self-indulgent or selfish. This leads to a pattern of harsh self-judgment. Once we learn to practice self-kindness, we realize our shared human experience: mistakes are an unavoidable part of life, and there’s no need for self-punishment.
7 WAYS TO BE KINDER TO YOURSELF
1. FORGIVE
Many of us carry our past struggles with us. However, life offers us the opportunity to release the burdens of shame and pain. We can choose to grow and evolve. Holding onto grudges is detrimental; it steals our joy and becomes a heavy weight to bear. This applies to forgiving both ourselves and others.
Is it easy? Certainly not. If you’ve struggled with self-criticism for years, forgiving yourself can seem impossible. Yet, it’s crucial to remember that everyone makes mistakes. Allow yourself the grace you would extend to a friend; don’t dwell in self-blame for your shortcomings.
2. GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE
Maria Robinson wisely said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Recently, a close friend remarked that I wouldn’t understand their struggles because I seemingly have a “perfect” life. This stirred unexpected anger in me, prompting reflections on my past challenges.
Flashbacks appeared of my younger self, longing to escape an oppressive home environment, grappling with self-doubt, and battling loneliness. Despite pushing those memories aside, it’s important to recognize that overcoming past struggles is something to be proud of. Acknowledging your journey is not self-pity; it’s a necessary part of recognizing your growth. You don’t need other people’s validation to feel proud of what you’ve achieved.
3. TAKE CARE
When we discuss self-care, it’s more than just indulgences like bubble baths; it’s about nurturing your mind and body. This includes saying “no” to activities that drain you and allowing yourself to feel your emotions without shame. Sometimes, having a good cry or feeling angry is part of the healing process. For more ideas on practicing self-care, check out this post.
4. BE MORE GENTLE + MINDFUL
Practicing self-kindness and gentleness will enrich your life. It involves being careful about the language you use when speaking to yourself. Guard your speech so that you can become more mindful of your thoughts and emotions. This perspective will help you discern your feelings without personal judgment, making it easier to navigate anxiety and emotional turmoil.
5. DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF
Free yourself from limiting beliefs that hold you back. If you often think, “I can’t” or “I will never be able to…,” it’s time to change that narrative. Your greatest obstacles often stem from within. With the resources available today, creating the life you desire is more achievable than ever—but it requires effort and self-belief. Your inner dialogue should be your greatest supporter, not your biggest hurdle.
6. SEE A FRIEND
The steps to being kinder to yourself are akin to what you would expect from a good friend. Why not treat yourself that way? Approach your own experiences without judgment. Replace comparison with kindness and cherish your relationship with yourself, just as you would with anyone else.
7. LET GO OF THE NEED TO BE PERFECT
The pursuit of perfection can feel suffocating. It often leads to neglecting your achievements, as a critical voice in your head suggests you could always do better. This all-or-nothing mentality keeps you trapped in anxiety instead of focusing on what matters. Accept that not everything will go according to plan, and you will save time and energy that could be better spent on your personal growth.
So, what does being kinder to yourself truly mean?
It means making yourself a priority in your own life. It’s about acknowledging your emotions and understanding that they matter. By cultivating self-kindness, you will discover emotional freedom and a newfound appreciation for your own needs and feelings.
