Feeling out of control can be deeply unsettling. It can lead to anger, frustration, and disappointment. No matter how hard you try, sometimes things simply don’t go your way, and it’s essential to recognize this reality.
Change isn’t solely about transforming your habits. It’s also about learning to accept life as it comes, navigating its ups and downs without letting anger or frustration dominate your emotions.
To adapt to life’s unpredictability, you need to cultivate trust and faith—not just in the world around you, but in yourself. Knowing you can handle whatever comes your way, even when outcomes are beyond your control, is vital.
5 WAYS TO STOP RESISTING + LEARN TO FLOW WITH LIFE
YOU CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU
“Life is a series of natural, spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~ Lao-Tzu
Accepting the events in our lives can often be challenging. While it’s easy to say we shouldn’t stress over things we can’t control, practicing this mindset is a continual journey. Many aspects of life are beyond our influence, including the actions of others, which can become a significant source of frustration.
Our happiness largely depends on how we respond to situations we cannot control. So why let these circumstances dictate our emotions? The first step in achieving peace is acknowledging that you cannot control everything in your life.
CREATE EMOTIONAL DISTANCE
Gaining a different perspective on your circumstances is often easier said than done. Nevertheless, it is important to make the effort.
We frequently let minor setbacks affect us deeply—like car trouble, relationship challenges, or unexpected work obligations. It’s crucial to create emotional distance and view these situations from a broader perspective. Remember, you are not defined by what happens to you, but by how you choose to react. Will a minor inconvenience be significant a year from now?
BREATHE
When emotions like anger, frustration, or anxiety arise, take a moment to breathe deeply. Deep breathing is an effective way to regain calm and focus, yet many underestimate its power. Personally, I’ve found that concentrating on controlled breathing during overwhelming moments has been invaluable.
This technique works for various life challenges—whether it’s a breakup, a failed exam, or a job interview that didn’t go as planned. The first step to taking control is to breathe deeply.
Everything else can be figured out later.
Flowing with life means embracing situations as they come, rather than resisting them and fighting against what you cannot change.
OPEN YOUR ARMS TO CHANGE + IMPERFECTIONS
Change doesn’t always happen on our terms; sometimes we’re thrust into it. Accepting that things don’t always go as planned can be difficult. However, change is an intrinsic part of life.
Life involves constant transformation, both in circumstances and people. It’s these unexpected shifts that enrich our experiences, potentially leading us to tears or laughter. Challenges often make us appreciate good moments more and impart invaluable lessons that strengthen us.
Life doesn’t need to be perfect—imagine how monotonous it would be! Embrace imperfection and don’t take yourself too seriously. Sometimes life takes a detour when we wish to stay on course, but I’ve found that embracing these changes is far easier than resisting them. If something doesn’t work out as planned, perhaps something even better awaits.
FOCUS ON THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL
While we can’t control everything, we can control our responses to the situations we face. You generally have two choices: you can allow circumstances to dictate your emotions or recognize that the only thing you can control is how you respond to the situation at hand.
Recently, my car unexpectedly broke down while I was grocery shopping. Luckily, it happened near my mechanic. After a quick fix that allowed the car to start, I learned it needed further inspection. The following day, another mechanic confirmed the diagnosis and directed me to the dealership, where I got a loaner car. Days passed with no update, and I felt overwhelmed, worrying about potential costs and complications. Then I reminded myself: “There’s nothing I can do right now. I’ll focus on what I can control.”
When I finally heard back, the issue turned out to be trivial and was resolved without charge. This experience illustrates how easily we allow anticipated problems to dominate our thoughts before knowing the full story. Often, the reality is far less daunting than our minds imagine. Instead of resisting, learning to flow with life simplifies its challenges.
Reflecting on the essence of this blog—its name, Thirteen Thoughts, signifies my often anxious mind filled with racing thoughts. Mastering the art of not resisting but instead flowing with life has been a significant aspect of my personal growth journey.
As someone who naturally prefers to be in control, I’ve learned that worrying about uncontrollable aspects of life is a waste of time and energy. Acceptance paves the way for a more effortless experience of flowing with life. Remember, as my mother always says, every problem has a solution—so there’s no need to sweat the small stuff.
