In today’s digital age, many children are growing up immersed in screens, which significantly hampers their conversational abilities. This article discusses the alarming impact of device dependency on communication skills and suggests ways to foster meaningful conversations, particularly within family dynamics.
Yves here. While it may not be surprising that children who focus excessively on devices struggle with conversation, this article may not fully address the seriousness of this issue. How will future generations negotiate effectively if they lack essential communication skills?
The suggested solution is to encourage conversation during family dinners by banning phones. However, having grown up in a household where children were expected to remain silent at the dinner table, I question whether this limited practice is sufficient, even if it’s an improvement over current conditions.
By Estrella Montolío Durán, Catedrática de Lengua Española. Universitat de Barcelona. Originally published at The Conversation
Social media and mobile devices disrupt face-to-face conversations. Recent studies have shown that the excessive use of mobile phones has a negative effect on the quality of our interactions.
Our compulsive relationship with these gadgets diverts our attention and inhibits our ability to listen and engage in meaningful conversation. Research indicates that even the mere presence of a mobile phone, even when silenced, fragments our attention, making it less likely to spark and share intriguing conversations. This phenomenon causes individuals to “skim” discussions rather than delve deeper.
Children and adolescents raised in environments dominated by screens during mealtimes (televisions, tablets, and smartphones) often exhibit noticeable deficiencies in their communication and conversational abilities. They find it challenging to interpret non-verbal cues, activate fewer mirror neurons (the neural basis for empathy), and express anxiety about engaging in real, unscripted conversations.
While they can articulate words, they frequently struggle with the cooperative exchange of ideas that has been essential for human development through the ages.
Learning to Converse
Articulating language is a genetic capacity inherent to all humans. Regardless of their origins, anyone can learn to converse. Engaging in everyday discussions feels natural, yet it is also a skill that can be cultivated. We acquire the ability to enter conversations appropriately, maintain a friendly demeanor, and tackle challenging discussions with empathy and assertiveness.
In essence, while language is an innate talent, the art of conversation is culturally transmitted.
This emphasizes the crucial role families play in nurturing children’s conversational skills. Just as families might provide varying levels of financial resources—some inheriting homes while others do not—they also bestow linguistic capital.
Consequently, a child may gain access to an extensive and enriched vocabulary, while another might grow up with more limited linguistic exposure. This disparity also applies to syntax: those who interact with complex sentence structures are often better equipped for advanced thinking, in contrast to peers who only encounter simplistic constructions.
Moreover, families also influence our “conversational capital.” We observe some children engaging comfortably with adults, including those older than their parents, while others find it hard to respond appropriately. Some young individuals learn to listen to others and wait for their turn, while many never receive this essential guidance.
Ideally, schools should provide equal opportunities for children from different linguistic backgrounds, exposing them to richer models of conversation. This exposure can help them articulate their emotions, feelings, and arguments more effectively. However, this process of leveling the playing field does not always unfold as intended.
Your Conversational Fingerprint
Being educated about language and conversation is critical for numerous reasons, fundamentally because our conversational style influences how others perceive us.
The way we converse helps define who we are, shaping personal and professional relationships alike. As sociologist Sherry Turkle points out in her extensive research on conversation: “The quality of our conversations is directly tied to our personal happiness and our social and professional success.”
Why We Need Conversational Literacy
Human behaviors—breathing, eating, speaking, and more—are unevenly prioritized. While nutrition has garnered public health attention, awareness regarding the profound capacity of articulate language remains limited.
Many individuals struggle with awkward conversations. They find it difficult to engage with those who differ from them and frequently forget the crucial act of listening, which lays the foundation for empathy and cooperation.
Thus, it is urgent that we elevate conversational literacy to a matter of public interest. This competency allows us to recognize the extraordinary potential of everyday dialogue and identify harmful conversations that, much like junk food, do more harm than good.
When we engage in genuine conversation—one that occurs in the moment, with our bodies fully present and our attention focused—remarkable things unfold.
Both participants’ bodies synchronise, adapting and unconsciously imitating each other, and even their brains show signs of coordination. The depth and significance of the conversation often lead to a greater synchronization of neurological activity.
You can start developing conversational literacy simply by having family dinners without phones or other devices present. Engaging in authentic conversations will significantly enhance the personal and professional growth of the youngest family members.
