On Overcoming Fear + Embracing Change
In our lives, we encounter various fears: some are minor, like a fear of spiders, while others are more significant, such as fear of depths—known as thalassophobia. Then, there are the profoundly overwhelming fears that challenge us, like making monumental lifestyle changes or facing failure head-on.
Fear serves a fundamental purpose; it’s a natural instinct embedded in our survival mechanisms that protects us from real danger. However, there’s also what we can call “false” fear, born from mental worries, doubts, and uncertainties. This is the type of fear that often holds us back from pursuing our true desires in life.
False fear can easily consume us. Our minds are wired to evade pain and discomfort, which is why we resist changes that could enhance our lives. We know the steps needed for improvement—like healthier eating and regular exercise—but the weight loss industry thrives, illustrating our reluctance to make even the slightest changes. Where does this hesitation come from?
ON OVERCOMING FEAR + EMBRACING CHANGE
CHANGE + LOSS
Change often introduces uncertainty into our lives, stirring fears of potential loss.
What if changing my career path jeopardizes my security?
Will I lose friends by adopting a new lifestyle?
Am I wasting my time on this endeavor?
Sometimes, the status quo feels “good enough,” and we hesitate to gamble on losing what is familiar and comfortable. While we may seek improvement, is it worth risking what feels secure?
If the fear of loss arises as you consider making changes, shift your perspective on change. Instead of viewing it as daunting, see it as an exciting opportunity that can make your life more vibrant and fulfilling. Focus on the positive aspects of change—the thrilling, uplifting, and transformative possibilities.
Often, when we obsess over the challenges of change—like dealing with the unknown or making sacrifices—we might think, “Is this truly worth the endeavor?” Our minds quickly respond, “No, thank you, I’d rather not!” Thus, we only focus on risks and uncertainties. Conversely, beyond that fear lies joy, a sense of achievement, and the realization that we are truly in charge of our lives. Recognizing that false fears are just limiting beliefs allows us to pursue our goals—large and small—while welcoming change.
FAILURE
Fear of failure is one of our greatest fears. Our minds often view failure as a significant negative outcome to be avoided at all costs. This fear is so pronounced that it can deter us from even attempting to succeed.
What makes failure so daunting?
There is disappointment, embarrassment, and a perceived loss of control, among other feelings. The reality is that everyone experiences failure at some point. In fact, some of the most valuable lessons come from our failures. While not all failures present clear lessons, it’s crucial not to let the fear of failure consume you. Accepting that failure is part of life can diminish its hold on you.
You can confront failure with confidence. Step one: don’t take it personally. Avoid self-blame and over-analysis. It’s vital to distinguish yourself from your mistakes. Just because you stumble (and we all do) doesn’t define who you are. Step two: reframe your perception of failure. Your mind might insist that failure is the worst outcome; is it really? Shift your focus to: “What’s the best that could happen? How will it feel to achieve my goals?” I’ve faced numerous failures, and although they often came with struggles, each one revealed a resilient part of me. After reflecting on those experiences, I realized: “I survived, and I’m stronger than I thought.” Never let fear, or the act of failing, hold you back.
THE BIG “WHAT IF?”
The infamous “what if?” represents a significant hurdle in overcoming fear.
Many of our anxieties stem from this question: what if?
What if plans go awry?
What if I fail?
What if nothing works in my favor?
What if I disappoint someone?
What if I don’t meet expectations?
What if it’s too late?
When speaking with those who possess wisdom and experience, I often hear a common refrain: don’t let fear prevent you from living fully. Many express regret over opportunities not taken.
“I wish I had taken more risks.”
“I wish I had pursued my aspirations.”
“I wish I had fewer ‘what ifs’ in my story.”
One striking observation is the regret individuals feel for choosing paths dictated by societal expectations over their dreams. Too often, we waste precious time worrying about things beyond our control.
Regret exists in varying degrees—there are small regrets and significant ones.
Constantly remind yourself: there isn’t a “right” way to live. What matters is how YOU choose to live your life. Yes, defying expectations from family and friends can be daunting. Facing both large and small fears poses challenges. Yet, what is life without taking some risks—especially when the potential rewards can be transformative?
Fear regularly stops us; it controls our decisions. We tend to view challenges as barriers and shy away from them.
It might seem logical to avoid discomfort, but you can also see each challenge as an opportunity for growth. You shouldn’t abandon goals simply because they are intimidating or demanding. If you ask me, waking up to a life filled with regret and unresolved “what ifs” is far scarier.
