This essay is taken from Picky: How American Children Became the Fussiest Eaters in History by Helen Zoe Veit. Copyright © 2026 by the author, and reprinted with permission of St. Martin’s Publishing Group.
Dr. Spock’s Regret
In the 1970s, Dr. Benjamin Spock acknowledged he had made errors in his previous advice regarding children’s food choices. Thirty years after he released the widely popular Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, he regretted his assumptions. Originally, he believed that children, by instinct, would naturally gravitate toward nutritious foods. His optimism led him to predict that any pickiness would be transient and that children would enjoy a “grown-up diet” by the age of two. Raised in an era when children quickly adapted to their parents’ eating habits, Spock underestimated the complexities of children’s preferences. His readers, however, took away a different message: they embraced the idea that they could comfortably cater to their children’s whims, often parodying his advice with phrases like “Feed ‘em whatever they want.” Unfortunately, this interpretation contributed to an era of poor dietary habits among American children.
Changing Dietary Norms
As Dr. Spock re-evaluated his principles, the American landscape surrounding children’s diets had shifted dramatically. Fast food, processed snacks, and sugary treats had become staples in children’s meals. He pointed out that children’s diets were lacking essential nutrients and overflowing with empty calories. His permissive early advice, suggesting ice cream as a suitable reward even without touching vegetables, transformed into a norm where “nice parents” consistently agreed to treats while abandoning the insistence on vegetables. Consequently, children weren’t commonly adopting “grown-up diets” until much later—an outcome Spock had not envisioned.
Shifting Perspectives on Picky Eating
The emergence of mass childhood pickiness illustrates a shift in American parental confidence regarding children’s diverse food preferences. By the late 20th century, it seemed increasingly unkind to expect children to eat as their parents did; a belief took root that children’s biological makeup made their taste buds fundamentally different. Older generations viewed traditional feeding practices as outdated and oppressive, likening them to the overbearing mother in the film Mommie Dearest.
By Helen Zoe Veit. St. Martin’s Publishing Group.
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The Current Landscape of Picky Eating
At present, many Americans accept that pickiness is rooted in biology, arising from children’s unique physiological responses to food’s taste, texture, and color. This belief suggests that a child’s rejection of certain foods indicates a natural dislike, making it unlikely they will ever grow to enjoy those foods. Strict parenting methods may compel children to chew and swallow unwanted items—deemed “forcing” by critics. However, if educators and parents assume that children’s food aversions stem from an innate biological basis, forcing them to eat unfamiliar foods appears as a cruel infringement on their bodily autonomy and even their right to consent. This perspective has led to a widespread belief that expecting children to consume the same meals as their parents can produce emotional distress and maladjustment when it comes to food.
New Parenting Paradigms
The significance of this shift cannot be overstated. Historically, American parents believed that children should eat family meals or go without food for a while. However, towards the end of the 20th century, the prevailing understanding of childhood behavior changed drastically, and many began to view those earlier expectations as harmful.
Defining Good Parenting
What constitutes good parenting in terms of food today? There are many perceived rules, but don’t worry—one of the biggest is simply not to stress over what your children consume.
Modern parents prioritize health, yet don’t obsess over vegetables. They avoid withholding snacks or using desserts as rewards, and they understand that children often do not care for nutrition. Instead, they introduce new foods without undue pressure, acknowledging children’s dislikes when meal planning or grocery shopping. Above all, good parents embody kindness and never force children to eat specific dishes. If a child declines what the family is eating, good parents will provide an alternative rather than letting them go hungry.
The Evolution of Parental Beliefs
These spoken and unspoken guidelines reflect two longstanding beliefs that emerged in the latter part of the 20th century: First, children’s tastes are biologically distinct and unchangeable, and second, it is psychologically damaging to expect children to eat the same food as adults.
Contrasts in Parenting Approaches
However, consider how different our feeding practices are compared to our approaches to other daily routines. Young children often resist baths, yet we calmly guide them into the tub, resulting in giggles and splashes. They might reject clothing or school, but we use humor or encouragement to overcome their reluctance. Similarly, we don’t interpret their resistance to sunscreen or dental care as a valid reason to let them suffer the consequences of sunburns or cavities. We assert the need for seat belts and car seats, teaching children their importance even if it creates short-term distress. In most aspects of life, we confidently believe that parents know better than preschoolers, instructing them to adopt practices that ensure their safety and well-being.
Historical Confidence in Food Preferences
Historically, food was also seen as an area where parental wisdom prevailed. Up until the early 20th century, Americans largely believed that children would come to enjoy new foods with time. Parents were assertive at mealtime, similar to how they are in other areas of their children’s lives today. Consequently, earlier generations of children typically learned to appreciate family meals, reinforcing this confidence and making those parenting methods socially accepted.
Diverse Parenting Experiences
Of course, past parenting styles have varied widely, with some families having abundant resources while others struggled with food accessibility. Not all children lived with their parents or participated in family meals for various reasons, and some parents used tyrannical or neglectful methods, just as some continue to do today. Yet, from a general perspective, the American attitude toward children’s food preferences markedly shifted throughout the 20th century.
Rediscovering Joy in Eating
Prior to the 1930s, the concept of being a picky eater was virtually nonexistent. Previous generations tended to overlook sporadic food refusals, viewing them as mere whims rather than core aspects of childhood, much like how we don’t see avoidance of tooth brushing as central to a child’s identity today. In the past, if a child rejected a family meal, it was common for them to feel hungry before the next meal, allowing them to develop an appetite and reinforcing parental confidence in their ability to enjoy family food. There was rarely an emphasis on forcing children to eat; instead, parents aimed to help children “like” and “want” the meals served, leading to a broader enjoyment of food across various American demographics.
The Irony of Current Beliefs
This highlights one of the most ironic aspects of picky eating today. In the early 20th century, when it was customary for parents to believe children would grow to enjoy the same food, most kids were adventurous eaters who developed diverse tastes and maintained healthy eating habits into adulthood. Yet as claims emerged in the mid-20th century that expecting children to share meals with adults was harmful, older parenting methods came to be derided as cruel. By the late 20th century, it was asserted that such expectations resulted in a multitude of issues, including family conflicts over meals, long-lasting aversions to food, distorted perceptions of hunger and fullness, unhealthy relationships with food, and overall unhappiness.
The Consequences of Modern Practices
Ironically, the issues that parents feared—whether they involve protracted meal-related conflicts, food aversions, obesity, or eating disorders—were virtually unheard of in the early 20th century when children were expected to share meals with adults. These complications began to arise in the latter half of the 20th century, coinciding precisely with parents’ declining faith in children’s ability to enjoy a variety of foods as they started tailoring diets to personal preferences. While it cannot be definitively stated that modern child-feeding practices cause these issues, it is equally illogical to assert that older approaches are to blame, particularly when those problems were exceptionally rare during their prevalence.
The Parent’s Dilemma
Today’s parents generally wish for their children to avoid pickiness, recognizing that it leads to extra work and daily frustration. For many, the fear of giving their children negative experiences causes immense stress and anger. However, modern parenting roles often place individuals in a tough position. Many parents are paralyzed by the worry that their choices may significantly impact their children’s well-being. This internal struggle becomes apparent each mealtime when they face the conflicting priorities of health concerns versus the desire to please their kids. In this climate, it seems almost impossible for either children or parents to achieve a satisfying resolution.
