Finding time for solitude can be both soothing and rejuvenating. For those who cherish quiet moments, it often becomes a treasured part of life. Here’s a personal reflection on the joys and occasional challenges of embracing solitude.
I love spending time alone.
As long as it doesn’t involve me leaving my house.
Whenever Mark proposes an outing that we know will involve crowds, I can’t help but respond: “but… but there are people there and I’ll have to interact and stuff.” This has grown into a humorous recurring theme in my family. During dinners, someone will tease me by saying, “Paula! I see people!”
So yes, I’m a bit (or perhaps a lot) of an introvert. While I enjoy having friends over occasionally, after a few hours, I’m usually ready to retreat into my own space. It’s crucial for my well-being; without sufficient alone time during the week, I struggle to function at my best.
Interestingly, I rarely engage in activities by myself. I have my little rituals—reading, preparing a meal just for me, or attempting to pick up the violin again. However, going out alone to explore or try new things isn’t something I often do.
A few weeks back, when my husband was away for the day, I experienced pure bliss. I visited IKEA to buy a new desk, and upon returning home, I fell into a cleaning frenzy. I bathed Blu, folded an enormous pile of laundry, watched How I Met Your Mother in the background, lit my favorite candle, savored a glass of wine, and assembled the desk. It was the first piece of furniture I had ever put together by myself. Just as I was finishing the last piece, I heard Mark’s truck in the driveway. I was determined to complete it before he returned. When he came upstairs, he couldn’t believe I had not only purchased the desk but had also assembled it on my own. It may seem trivial, but to me, it felt like a significant achievement. Having been together since I was 17, Mark has always been by my side for such tasks, so accomplishing this independently felt empowering.
Not long ago, I shared with someone, “If I didn’t leave my house for the rest of my life, I’d probably be happy.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized, “wow, that’s frightening.” Even more unsettling was their response: “yeah, you probably would… you hate doing things… because… you know… people and stuff.”
This conversation sparked deep reflection, motivating me to try new things independently. I recalled the initial fear I felt driving solo through New York City, going for a long walk after a sleepless night, and presenting research at a Boston conference all on my own during college. Each of these experiences was daunting, yet they left me with an exhilarating sense of accomplishment.
Engaging in activities alone can reveal much about ourselves, especially when stepping outside our comfort zones. Personally, I’ve discovered I’m braver than I often believe. Even if you already enjoy solitude, embracing new solo experiences can be intimidating yet immensely rewarding. You might uncover a newfound passion or talents you never knew existed.
Do you enjoy spending time alone? What is your favorite activity to do solo?
