In mindbodygreen’s parenting column, Parenthetical, contributor, psychotherapist, and writer Lia Avellino delves into the complex, fulfilling, and sometimes challenging journey of parenthood. In this edition, Avellino addresses the topic of overcoming internal shame that often accompanies being a parent.
Parenthood is a life-altering experience that can evoke a wide range of emotions, including joy, anxiety, and sometimes, profound shame. As parents navigate the highs and lows, it’s essential to confront these feelings, particularly the inner voice that may criticize their parenting choices. Understanding and addressing internal shame is crucial for both personal well-being and fostering a healthy environment for children.
Internal shame often arises from societal pressures and personal expectations. Parents may feel like they’re constantly being evaluated, whether it’s through social media or conversations with peers. This pressure can lead to self-doubt and a fear of judgment, which can, in turn, affect parenting styles.
To combat these feelings of shame, it’s important to foster self-compassion. By acknowledging that no parent is perfect and that mistakes are a part of the learning process, individuals can begin to alleviate the burden of unrealistic expectations. Here are some steps to help navigate and diminish internal shame:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness that you would offer a friend facing similar struggles.
- Share Your Experiences: Discussing feelings of shame with other parents can provide reassurance that you are not alone.
- Limit Social Media Consumption: Taking breaks from social media can help reduce comparisons and the pressure to meet unrealistic standards.
- Seek Professional Support: If feelings of shame persist, consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in parenting issues.
In conclusion, addressing internal shame is a vital step for parents toward cultivating a healthier mindset. By embracing self-compassion and connecting with others, parents can learn to navigate the complexities of their roles with greater confidence and less self-criticism. Ultimately, creating a nurturing environment for their children begins with nurturing themselves first.
