Receiving an ADHD diagnosis can be daunting, especially when it’s for your child. I remember the moment vividly when I read the psychiatrist’s report stating, ‘ADHD. Moderately severe.’ It felt overwhelming, as if those words were an indictment of my son. The term ‘disorder’ loomed large, a label no parent wishes to apply to their child, even when suspicions linger.
However, reflecting on the past three years, I realize I could have approached the diagnosis with more ease. Since then, two more individuals with ADHD have joined my life: my stepson and—surprisingly—myself.
Assessing Intelligence and ADHD
For years, teachers called us in to discuss my son’s routine classroom disruptions. By the sixth year, his teacher had grown weary and lacked affection for this caring, charismatic child. Her comment that he would ‘really struggle at secondary school’ brought me to tears, and when she suggested, ‘We need to work out if this is an IQ issue,’ I was left utterly speechless.
I took her advice and pursued an IQ assessment, but it turned out to be pointless. I knew my son was intelligent; rather, ADHD was the culprit. More private evaluations followed, confirming the initial diagnosis. That’s when I started to notice a pattern.
Reading my son’s psychiatrist report felt like looking into a mirror. I instantly recognized my own thought processes. Shortly after, my teenage stepson met my son. Their energies and social skills clicked immediately, shared traits such as enthusiastic interruptions and unconventional thinking that often lead to creative ideas.
ADHD Enters the Mainstream Conversation
If you’re grappling with a diagnosis for yourself or a loved one, know you’re not alone. Between 2.5 and 3 million people in the UK live with ADHD.
The dramatic rise in diagnoses and prescriptions has been noteworthy. A BMJ study revealed a significant increase in medications dispensed over the last five years. As awareness grows, so does acceptance and understanding.
While ADHD does come with challenges, living with someone who has it can require extraordinary patience. Fatigue and boredom can trigger hyperactivity, manifesting as loud and disruptive behavior. Getting an ADHD teenager to school can feel monumental; tasks are rarely completed in sequence, and belongings often go missing. Just recently, my son has been trying to tackle his art homework without prompts—a small victory! However, he’s somehow misplaced all the supplies I bought just a month ago.
Nonetheless, ADHD exists on a spectrum; its impact varies greatly. For some, it poses serious challenges with debilitating effects, while for others, the influence is more subtle. Conditions blend differently, leading to various degrees of hyperactivity, inattentiveness, and impulsivity.
A ‘Mercurial Mind’
For those of us with this particular thought process, it can be exhausting. In the 1980s and 90s, my parents—unaware of ADHD—often referred to me as having a ‘mercurial mind’.
I frequently start a sentence with one thought and veer into another entirely, rarely pausing long enough to await a response before my mind races ahead. Even if I receive an answer, I must consciously focus to comprehend it, often losing track of something I was previously holding. Then, I’ll waste precious minutes searching for the lost item.
Instructions delivered verbally? A futile exercise. My mind struggles to retain more than two steps at once, and when presented with lists, it feels overwhelming, leading to frustration. Following films is another challenge; my focus tends to drift. Thankfully, my partner is patient and understands, often pausing without any judgment, which I deeply appreciate.
Short-Lived but Intense Emotions
One challenging aspect of my ADHD is an inclination toward quick anger, partly due to emotional dysregulation. My reactions are often linked to feeling belittled or undervalued. Being taken for granted, a common teenage behavior, often unleashes my fleeting rage. Following these outbursts, I feel shame for losing control over my emotions, leading to excessive apologies—a not-so-ideal parenting cycle.
Social Skills, Charisma, and Resilience
It’s essential to note that an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t mean life is unraveled. In fact, there are many benefits to having this dynamic thought process. For instance, it’s nearly impossible for those of us with ADHD to cling to anger or hold grudges—a genuine superpower.
My son and stepson may lack organized thinking, but they compensate with warmth and superb conversational abilities. They experience negative thoughts like anyone else, but they possess remarkable resilience and an ability to swiftly move past these feelings.
A Unique Perspective
Creativity flourishes within the ADHD brain, resulting in a distinct outlook on the world around us.
This is refreshing in a society that craves risk-takers and innovative thinkers. While ADHD minds may disengage from mundane tasks (less helpful during exams), they become exceptionally skilled at subjects that deeply fascinate them.
A Brain Type, Not a Disorder?
It’s time to reframe how we perceive ADHD. For me and countless others, it simply represents a different brain type. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with us.
Society has shaped itself in a way that doesn’t always accommodate our needs. I would speculate that Stone Age humans with ADHD traits likely excelled in skills such as hunting and innovative problem-solving, rather than sitting at desks poring over spreadsheets or studying for tests at the age of ten.
The Wealth Divide Affecting Diagnosis
Currently, over half a million individuals await an NHS assessment. With diagnosis can come self-acceptance and renewed confidence, yet the overwhelmed NHS leaves many waiting years for support.
In moments of insomnia, I ponder the many children who are left disadvantaged by this delay. My ADHD son and stepson are articulate, intelligent, and engaging individuals. Unfortunately, their schools largely failed to support them, dismissing them as merely disruptive. This issue isn’t solely a failing of the educators; a National Audit Office report revealed that the UK’s SEN system is in financial distress and requires immediate reform.
Managing ADHD: Medication and Strategies
As many as 75% of adults with ADHD remain undiagnosed. This raises concerns about becoming a class issue, primarily due to the costs associated with private assessments and limited NHS support. For our family, expenses for medications, prescriptions, and evaluations total hundreds each year.
Medication isn’t a universal solution. What truly matters are effective strategies tailored for the individual. I have developed various coping mechanisms, including creating detailed lists. Although I hesitate to see my son medicated—since it dulls his vibrant spark—this approach helps him navigate our structured world. It’s a tough compromise, but unfortunately, a necessary one at this stage.
Exploring dietary options has proven essential too. Research suggests that ADHD-friendly diets rich in protein, omega-3 fatty acids, and complex carbohydrates can be supportive, though let’s be honest—what teenager is likely to completely avoid sugary treats?
What Lies Ahead?
If you suspect your child may have ADHD, my recommendation is to get them on an NHS waiting list as early as possible—regardless of their age. While some kids may manage well in their formative years, the challenges often intensify as they enter secondary school.
It’s crucial for society to reevaluate its perspective on ADHD.
In the words of Steve Jobs from Apple’s 1997 Think Different Campaign: “Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. They don’t respect the status quo… the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
Here’s to those with a mercurial mind.
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