At the age of 40, I found myself navigating the complexities of a midlife crisis, symbolized by a black silicone wristwatch. With this milestone came a newfound obsession with my health and longevity. My journey involved not just a barrage of supplements but also a sleep tracker gifted to me for my birthday, which quickly evolved from a helpful tool into a dominating presence in my life.
Sleep trackers have gained immense popularity, with one study revealing that one in three Americans have used one. Whether integrated into fitness trackers or standalone devices like the Oura Ring, they seem to be everywhere.
However, their effectiveness raises questions. While they can accurately track the total duration of sleep, their monitoring of sleep cycles is often more suggestive than precise. Despite understanding this, I found myself constantly checking my deep sleep levels and daily readiness score, a metric indicating how well-rested I was. Disappointingly, the results often fell short of my expectations.
My pursuit of perfect rest turned into an obsession. I amassed a collection of lavender-infused products and made white noise my most-played track on Spotify. My daily schedule revolved around maximizing bedtime, yet I continued to feel exhausted and disheartened by my sleep metrics. Anxiety about achieving sleep perfection made it increasingly difficult to fall asleep.
Being tired is not unfamiliar to many, especially parents and busy professionals like myself who juggle children, travel, and rigorous exercise routines. Sadly, this struggle is common. Today, we face an ‘exhaustion epidemic’: 50-70 million Americans experience sleep disorders, and one in eight Britons claims to feel tired constantly. Research shows that while we may be sleeping more, our fatigue remains unchanged significantly.
For those of us caught in this exhausting cycle, the effects of poor sleep quality are painfully familiar: physical and mental health issues, diminished cognitive performance, altered appetite, and emotional fluctuations. In extreme cases, it can even increase the risk of death. Sleep deprivation can influence every aspect of our lives, from relationships to work, and has been implicated in catastrophic events like nuclear accidents and airplane crashes. While my sleeplessness wasn’t on such a grand scale, I was determined to make a change.
Consulting Sleep Experts
The rise of sleep clinics is reflective of a booming market in sleep treatment, which reached a value of $12.8 billion in 2024. These specialized centers focus on diagnosing and treating a variety of sleep disorders, ranging from insomnia to sleep apnea. Although my concerns felt more holistic than clinical, I decided to consult with ResMed, a company specializing in sleep issues, and arrived prepared with numerous questions for sleep clinician Joshua Piper.
During our conversation, I learned that my sleep fixation has a name: orthosomnia. Joshua elucidated, “Orthosomnia describes an obsession with sleep quality—a relentless quest for unattainable perfection. Stressing about the imperfections in your sleep can paradoxically exacerbate the problem.”
I shared how my sleep tracker contributed to my anxiety. Joshua acknowledged that while he supports technology, it should be used judiciously. “I recommend focusing on how you feel rather than simply relying on app data. Use technology to validate your feelings, not dictate them. Think of your tracker as a smoke alarm; it alerts you to an issue but doesn’t explain its cause. To understand your sleep cycles accurately, an EEG [a brain activity scan] is needed.”
Is Your Sleep Tracker Identifying Serious Issues?
“Identifying chronic problems can be tricky,” Joshua explained. “But classic symptoms to watch for include consistently falling asleep on the sofa, mood fluctuations, morning headaches, and frequent nighttime bathroom visits.”
For many sleep tracker enthusiasts, waking multiple times can be a source of anxiety. My own tracker often indicated a reduction in my total sleep time by nearly an hour. Joshua advised taking such readings with caution, as minor movements during sleep may count as ‘waking.’ Given my family history of sleep apnea and my well-known snoring, he suggested further consulting with my GP.
“If you’re waking up for more than an hour each night, it’s worth discussing with a doctor. Be open about your symptoms; don’t just say you’re tired. Express concerns about potential sleep apnea and ask for a test.”
Most sleep tracker users chase after the elusive deep sleep stage, which is considered the most restorative. My own metrics showed between 45 minutes to 1 hour and 30 minutes of deep sleep nightly. However, Joshua cautioned against placing too much importance on these figures: “Sleep trackers lack the precision to draw definite conclusions about deep sleep, but generally, 12-20% deep sleep is the norm.” It’s common to cycle through non-REM and REM sleep stages, averaging four to six cycles per night, with occasional awakenings between them.
Stress-Free Strategies for Better Sleep
With Joshua’s insights on sleep science, the pitfalls of trackers, and the hazards of striving for sleep perfection, I began to wonder what steps I could take to improve my sleep.
While establishing consistent sleep rituals is ideal, it’s not feasible for everyone; shift workers, caregivers, and frequent travelers often face uncontrollable external pressures. Nonetheless, Joshua mentions general good habits that can be beneficial. Maintaining a balanced diet, staying active, and achieving a healthy weight all play significant roles in improving sleep quality. Additionally, moderation with alcohol is crucial—contrary to popular belief, a nightcap only sedates you temporarily and disrupts your sleep. As alcohol wears off, you often wake up more frequently and may even snore more due to relaxed muscles.
The role of light and nutrition cannot be overstated. “Your body needs cues for sleep, and eating too close to bedtime can signal wakefulness. Aim to eat at least 2-3 hours before you sleep. This allows your brain to prepare for rest.”
“Conversely, exposure to morning light is incredibly beneficial. Aim for at least 20 minutes of sunlight within the first hour of waking; this acts as a reset for your internal clock. This positive effect continues into the evening, aligning your bedtime rhythm with your morning habits.”
This natural light therapy is free and has a remarkable impact; even cloudy days count towards this benefit.
Yet, we must consider the potential pitfalls of late-night doomscrolling and the disruptive light from our devices.
Joshua explains, “Initially, blue light was seen as the main concern, but it’s now recognized that the act of scrolling contributes to alertness. It’s wise to put your phone down well in advance of bedtime.”
Additional tips from Joshua include maintaining a comfortable room temperature; keeping your bedroom cool regardless of the season can enhance sleep quality. You may also leverage your bathroom: “Taking a warm shower before bed brings blood to the surface via capillary dilation, which helps cool your core body temperature, signaling it’s time to sleep.”
If sleep eludes you, it’s beneficial to allow your brain the space it requires to unwind. Many people mistakenly think that bed is the time to switch off. However, the rational part of your brain shuts down first, followed by the emotional side. Irrational thoughts often creep in during this transition. Joshua suggests a simple technique: “Think about animals and mentally list them from A-Z. It’s engaging without being overly stimulating.”
If you find yourself tossing and turning, it may help to leave the bedroom. “Move to a different, calm space, read a book, and then return to bed. It’s essential to maintain a healthy association with your bed; ideally, it should be linked only to sleep and intimacy.”
Implementing Changes
With the knowledge I gained from Joshua, I decided it was time to reshape my habits. I established a consistent waking window each day from around 6:30 to 7:30 AM, even on weekends. My early-rising children have made this easier, though I do miss the luxury of sleeping in until 10 AM like I used to. I also started keeping my curtains open, allowing sunlight to greet me in the morning. Moreover, I’ve stopped relying on my sleep tracker every night. Lastly, where possible, I’ve limited my eating window, ensuring I finish meals at least a few hours before bedtime.
So, did these changes make a difference? The sunlight exposure in the mornings has undeniably improved my mood. Less focus on my tracker has made falling asleep a simpler task. I’ve shifted my perspective away from obsessing over deep sleep and now rely on how I feel after my morning shower, some stretches, and a cup of coffee. Although I may never feel 100% ready for all of life’s challenges, I no longer need a tracker to validate that.
For those days when things don’t go as planned, I asked Joshua to share one key sleep tip that anyone can incorporate into their routine, regardless of circumstances. “Routine is crucial for maintaining good sleep. However, perhaps even more important is eliminating worry. A single bad night’s sleep doesn’t erase progress, so there’s no need to panic. Occasional sleep disturbances are normal. The more you pursue sleep, the more elusive it can become; sleep flourishes in a rhythm, not under pressure.”
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