Finding Calm in Chaotic Moments
Life can often throw us into tumultuous situations, challenging our peace of mind. It’s essential to reflect on how we allow external factors to affect our serenity. Recently, I faced a frustrating experience that almost overshadowed my entire day.
In the past few months, I’ve visited more doctors than I ever anticipated. While some were friendly and accommodating, others left much to be desired. One doctor, in particular, gave off negative vibes the moment he walked into the room. His poor bedside manner and dismissive attitude told me I would not return after that initial visit, which lingered in my mind for days.
A few days ago, I had to call his office, and the response on the other end was downright rude. The individual who answered was one of the most discourteous persons I’ve encountered. I found myself interrupted repeatedly, unable to convey the purpose of my call, and I felt like I was being yelled at for no reason. It took just two minutes of this treatment for me to lose my cool.
As I endured that call, I could feel the heat rising within me, palms sweating, and despite my efforts to breathe deeply and maintain my composure, I was overwhelmed with frustration.
After the call ended, I couldn’t shake off the anger. I thought of a dozen better responses I could have given, from expressing how their treatment of patients in pain is unacceptable to suggesting that perhaps the rude receptionist should consider a different line of work. Yes, that brief phone call nearly ruined my morning.
Reflecting on that moment, I tried to reason that perhaps she was simply having a bad day. Yet, I wondered if that justified her poor treatment of others. In that moment of realization, I remembered an affirmation that has always resonated with me: I cannot control everything that happens to me, but I can control how I respond, and I choose love.
It’s worth contemplating how often we allow various elements to disrupt our peace of mind:
- What others say or do
- Situations that feel beyond our control
- Plans that don’t go as intended
This list could undoubtedly extend further. I’ll admit, it takes a lot to push me over the edge, but I reached a crossroads: I could either dwell in frustration or accept it as a lesson and move on.
HOW TO FIND MORE CALM IN LIFE
NOTICE THE PATTERNS
Listen to your body. How do you respond to stress? Do you shake, sweat, or feel your breathing quicken? Often, your body reacts to stress before you’re even aware you’re in a stressful situation. Recognizing these patterns can help you manage anxiety more effectively.
However, merely noticing isn’t sufficient. Developing a plan and strategies to manage stressful responses is crucial. Identify your triggers and consider steps to mitigate their impact.
BREATHE
This should always be your first strategy when seeking calm. Although it sounds simple, we often overlook this essential tool. Deep breathing acts as a natural stress-relief mechanism. During heightened stress, it can quickly center you.
To alleviate nervousness, try tactical breathing:
- Breathe in through your nose, allowing your diaphragm to expand, counting: 1, 2, 3, 4.
- Hold your breath for a count of: 1, 2, 3, 4.
- Exhale slowly while counting: 1, 2, 3, 4.
- Hold for 4 seconds and repeat until your breathing normalizes.
Deep breathing boosts oxygen levels in your brain, stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the “rest and digest” system. For any stressful incident, remember to focus on your breathing and aim to stabilize it.
DON’T RESIST
“Just stop thinking about it.”
“Ignore it.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Some challenges, however, are impossible to dismiss. It’s damaging to avoid emotions and feelings surrounding upsetting circumstances. Maintaining a positive outlook is valuable, yet pretending everything is fine can be counterproductive.
Negative emotions have their place; ignoring them can heighten distress. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions—whether through writing, crying, or talking to someone. Resistance can intensify negativity, which is counterproductive when seeking greater calm.
STAY MINDFUL + DON’T ASSUME
Many stressors lose their grip when mindful practices become part of our routines. In my case, I gave the phone call far more undue attention than it warranted, which trapped me in anger and frustration. This kind of mental replay leads to increased suffering and diminishes our happiness and tranquility.
Being mindful isn’t always easy, especially when facing challenges from others. It’s tempting to question why we should be the ones to adjust our responses, yet the reality is that your reactions are the only ones you can control. Recognizing this can significantly enhance your capacity for calmness.
To truly embrace calmness, learn to let go. You cannot dictate how others behave or always predict the outcomes of your experiences.
Instead of allowing external pressures to weigh you down, strive to adapt and let occurrences unfold without negativity. This approach requires practice, but it is undeniably worthwhile. Mastering the art of “flow” brings about greater ease, reducing anxiety or stress. This subtle shift shifts your focus away from internal chaos, similar to turning down a loud radio that distracts you from what truly matters.
How do you maintain calm amid stress? Is it a natural ability for you, or is it an area where you could improve? Remember, you hold power over your emotions. Don’t let anyone or anything disturb your inner peace.
