How to Navigate the Holiday Season Without Losing Your Cool
Recently, while waiting in line at the grocery store, I observed the shopping carts around me (I have a tendency to be a bit nosy). I leaned over to Mark and remarked, “Why is everyone already buying turkeys?”
“It’s Thanksgiving,” he replied.
“True, but that’s still a week away…” I checked my phone calendar, slightly shocked.
“Yep, it’s next week,” he confirmed.
Wow, the holiday season crept up on me this year! It’s surprising, particularly since we’ve hosted Thanksgiving for the past few years and typically look forward to it. Admittedly, I’ve had a somewhat chaotic year, but that shouldn’t overshadow our beloved traditions.
As a young immigrant, it took me years to embrace the concept of Thanksgiving. I was around 15 when I enjoyed my first dinner at my aunt’s house; the memory is vivid, particularly my introduction to sweet potatoes.
What on earth is this orange mush, and why is it called a “potato” when it looks like mashed carrots?
It was love at first taste, and sweet potatoes now hold a cherished place in my heart (and on my plate). Please, no judgment—my most “exotic” food experiences before that were likely shrimp… on a pizza. Sweet potatoes felt common during Thanksgiving, yet I couldn’t fathom why.
It wasn’t until Mark and I moved in together that Thanksgiving became part of my annual traditions. After all, it’s his favorite holiday (thanks to good food, family, friends, and football). Yes, sometimes the holidays do come sooner than anticipated. Fortunately, my experiences have taught me that staying calm and creating a plan is the best approach to managing any panic or stress.
It’s interesting how we often think of the holiday season as a time that requires special skills to emerge unscathed. While celebrating with loved ones and creating new memories is enjoyable, the season can also become chaotic, busy, and even overwhelming. To navigate this season successfully, it may be necessary to let go of certain expectations since not everything will be as magical as we hope. So, what are some strategies for getting through the holiday season without losing your sanity?
NAVIGATING THE HOLIDAY SEASON (WITHOUT LOSING YOUR COOL)
START PLANNING EARLY
This is arguably the simplest yet most effective tip for keeping your sanity during the holiday frenzy. Planning ahead is crucial for a successful holiday season. When it comes to gifts and cards for family, friends, or neighbors, tackling these tasks early can alleviate significant stress. For years, I would procrastinate until the last minute, and one Christmas Eve, I found myself buying and sending e-gift cards while en route to dinner.
Not the most considerate approach, right?
Even the thought of passing a shopping mall in the weeks leading up to the holidays gives me anxiety. For the past few years, I’ve taken to completing all my gift and card shopping months in advance. The same goes for wrapping gifts and sending cards. This not only reduces stress but is also financially wise; spreading out expenses over time is easier than laying out a large sum right before the holidays. I also stockpile nice chocolates, cards, and/or candles to have on hand in case I receive an unexpected gift.
…and keep planning
Planning doesn’t stop at gift shopping. I also organize outfits, clean, and prepare the house for hosting guests in advance. Hosting can involve a lot of cooking and preparation, which can quickly spiral into chaos. I make a point to create recipes, shopping lists, and ensure I have enough Tupperware for leftovers—because let’s face it, Thanksgiving leftovers are a highlight! Proper planning can eliminate last-minute grocery runs and the frustrations that arise from them.
MAKE SELF-CARE A PRIORITY
We recently discussed ways to care for yourself during autumn in this post, and as you might guess from my many Self-Care entries, I believe it’s a vital practice. This is crucial for those who habitually prioritize others and neglect their own well-being. Some people feel guilty about taking time for themselves or don’t know how to unwind. However, knowing how to care for yourself is essential for maintaining balance and health. Make time for yourself to relax before the rush begins.
SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE
Trying to do everything on your own can lead to feeling overwhelmed and may increase the risk of burnout. Yes, preparing for the holidays can require significant effort, but while some of it can be enjoyable, it can also become exhausting. There were years when I found myself longing for the holidays to be over so I could finally relax. My tendency to be a control freak often leads me to insist on doing everything myself to ensure it’s done my way. However, I’ve learned that involving family—like my brother, sister, and husband—doesn’t ruin the day even if the Brussels sprouts aren’t sliced to my specifications.
So, don’t complicate things for yourself. Don’t hesitate to ask for help with errands, cooking, shopping, planning, and cleaning. Perfectionistic tendencies can make it challenging to relinquish control, but simplifying your approach can alleviate stress. At the end of the day, running on empty results in fatigue that hinders enjoyment and keeps your mind racing with the next task on your list.
FOCUS ON WHAT TRULY MATTERS
Even in the closest families, stress can escalate when everyone gathers for the holidays. A few years back, a family member became understandably upset when I neglected to make baked potatoes for our Christmas Eve dinner. I was bewildered.
“Baked potatoes? When did we make those for Christmas Eve? I don’t even recall ever baking potatoes!”
“Um, only forever! That’s what I was counting on eating! Now what am I supposed to do?” *screams while surveying a table laden with twelve different dishes*
It seems absurd, but in that moment, it felt critical. Despite everything I had prepared all night, the omission of baked potatoes nearly derailed Christmas. Everyone started taking sides, and tempers flared over the issue, while I sat outside, contemplating “Are we really arguing about potatoes right now?” I adore my family, but we can turn into quite an emotionally charged group. Years later, we chuckle about the “potato incident”, but at the time, I longed to escape back to my car.
What Truly Matters…
It’s crucial not to lose sight of what matters most. The holidays shouldn’t revolve around stress or disappointment over unmet expectations—burnt meals or awkward dinner conversations shouldn’t overshadow the spirit of the season.
Many say the holidays are about family, yet the definition of “family” varies significantly for each of us. Some come from challenging backgrounds, and the thought of returning home for the holidays fills them with dread. For others, family may simply consist of a partner or chosen friends. I have friends who prefer spending the season with a small group of close friends instead of going back to families that add stress. It’s essential to prioritize your happiness and well-being over traditional expectations.
GIVE BACK
Let’s be real; this time of year can feel overstated. We anticipate a magical experience, only to find it’s not always there. While it’s wonderful when the magic happens, the holidays can also evoke feelings of sadness and grief.
Christmas used to be my favorite holiday largely due to my grandmother. We always gathered at her house, and there was a special magic about it. Losing her just three days before Christmas nearly two years ago felt like a cruel twist. The holidays have changed since then, and grappling with grief during what was once a joyous time is heart-wrenching. Grief can resurface unexpectedly, especially as the holidays approach, bringing both beautiful and painful memories.
Until the flood of memories bursts forth all at once.
One way to shift your focus from negative emotions during the holidays is to give back. There are countless small acts you can do to spread positivity, such as volunteering, donating, or even just helping a friend in need. I have personally sponsored a girl through World Vision for several years, and receiving letters and photos from her family brings me immense joy. We all wish to make a difference, and giving back can be simple and fulfilling. This is not only a good practice during the holidays, but it’s something to strive for throughout the year. If the season feels devoid of joy, helping others can reignite some of that magic.
